Fashionably Uninvited
by SadieMichelle
Summary: Set in BD2. Movie-verse. As Carlisle attempts peace talks with Aro in a tense standoff, Rosalie observes Caius, noticing he's gotten a hair cut from the last time she'd seen him. The struggle now is to not burst out laughing.


**This is the second story I've written as a result of seeing Breaking Dawn Part 2. Considering I'm not really even a fan of the books or the movies, this is quite impressive. And scary. However, if you did not know from my other stories, I am a fan of the Volturi - Aro in particular. As I watched this recent film, I saw Caius and it took me all the way until the battle scene to realize what was so different about him. He got a hair cut! And since Alice, fashion police and stylist extraordinaire wasn't there to comment much, I took the liberty of having Rosalie do the talking, and perhaps even learning a bit more about herself and who she wants to be as a result. Considering she's spent decades in Alice's presence, I'd like to think some of her tips and discussions rubbed off on her. But, Rosalie is not a character I know how to write since I've virtually ignored her throughout the whole series...until now. So, she may seem a bit OC and this whole situation may seem unlikely, but I had to get my muse some room to write. But I do warn you - my Rosalie is a bit different. Enjoy regardless!**

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**I - Girly Girl**

Let's get one thing straight right off the bat. Rosalie wasn't a girly girl like Alice.

Scratch that.

She was, but not to the extent of having the urge to buy a new pair of heels every five minutes.

Think that's an overexaggeration?

Off the top of her head, Rosalie could easily name 20 different shoe brands her sister had purchased.

Within the span of a month.

Just thinking about it made her own feet sore.

Emmett went through a phase of teasing her almost mercilessly about her lack of fashion awareness despite the era she'd been born into, claiming she didn't know the difference between a pair of heels and crocs - something Rosalie had been surprised to find he _did_ know the difference between.

Quite quickly, however, his teasing ceased when Rosalie denied all his attempts at dragging her into a bed.

After just one week of intense sexual frustration, Emmett finally had enough. The teasing was relinquished and his appetite was sated once more.

But Emmett wasn't exactly so far off from the actual truth. While Rosalie prided herself in appearance, she lacked the ability to know what was "in" as Alice called it.

Having been born in a time where a dress reaching up to the collar bone was elegant and feathered hats were a necessity, the concept of revealing skin, while highly agreeable with her toned, regal body, took awhile for her to fully embrace. An unbearably small former part of her still felt it to be fitting of a prostitute.

Plus, the fads of the decades afterward swirled into an unrecognizable pattern, mostly because the tragedy of what she'd become carried like a laden weight within her soul, allowing little joy or pleasure to be felt within the exciting and fast paced fashions around her.

However, meeting Alice allowed her to be turned into the right path, and if she picked out something at least a season old, she'd hear an emphatic sputter from the pixie haired girl, followed by a tug into the right direction of the store.

But just because Alice opened her eyes up to what belonged in a wardrobe, didn't mean all of Rosalie's pretenses were up to date.

Along with an outdated sense of fashion (she argued almost bitterly with Alice about the dresses they wore in her days, insisting they held an allure sprouted in the imagination), came an outdated sense of style. Hair styles in particular.

**II - Bugsalie**

During the 1980's, while hairspray, mousse and screaming hold had been the fad, Rosalie took to styling her hair as if she were a housewife from a 1950's suburban home. She'd been shuffling idly through a magazine when the hair style was discovered and Rosalie couldn't but think it exalted an equal sense of femininity and stardom.

Alice disagreed, claiming she looked like she'd stolen a bee's nest and glued it to her scalp.

By the time the 1990's hit, she'd grown bored of the style herself and Alice's incessant disapproval of it.

Instead, she did a complete 360 and tried a short bob reaching just underneath her chin, reminiscent of the flapper girls from the roaring twenties.

This time the result even managed to worry Carlisle.

"It's...nice," he'd voiced upon first seeing the look. "Most definitely...memorable."

Later, she found out Carlisle had slipped Alice a twenty to see if she could perform a miracle on what he'd seen. Which initially had made her angry, but she reminded herself of who's hair it was in the first place and that she did not need his approval.

It took six whole years before Rosalie was finally convinced the bob had been a bad idea. It made her eyes look buggish and appeared to cling to her skull like a brown moss.

Even Emmett had a difficult time taking her serious, taking to calling her "Bugsalie", one of the more unflattering words ever sprouted from anybody's mouth in the whole history of existence.

All the while, Alice jumped up and down at the opportunity to design her like a Barbie doll.

Rosalie may have been deprived of fashion sense when it came to eras, but that didn't mean she'd allow Alice anywhere near her with scissors or measuring tape. She'd save that date for some time far, far into the future.

Like maybe before the day she was decapitated and burned.

That might be a good date.

But not now.

**III - Beginning to Accept**

When the new millennium rushed in, for once in a very long time, Rosalie finally felt like she'd caught up her clothes to what was trendy, due mainly to her ability of actually beginning to accept how short and ultimately uneventful her human life had been.

In doing this, she felt more liberated and less like an unpleasant pain anchored itself inside her.

It allowed her to try and live for the present, not the past.

The past was over and done with. The present still remained and that was something she had complete control over.

Granted, a few times she fell behind in the seasons, but Alice, more excited than ever to finally have an honest shopping partner to drag into stores, made sure they returned back to the scene bold as ever.

And Rosalie had to grudgingly admit that the thrill of discovering what patterns best accentuated her hips or brought out the golden brown of her irises and brows, brought about a little bit of confidence, and a ton of appreciation for those who weaved or sowed together the cloth she wore, something she wasn't sure the person she'd been in her former life would have been.

She also forced herself to look back at herself in the 1980's and the 1990's and wonder for the upteenth time how it was that Alice hadn't chained her down to a chair and forcibly torn apart her atrocious style.

Emmett even took to calling them the beehive and moss years.

So, even though Rosalie wasn't the exact epitome of a girly girl, or even really a shred of the girly girl she'd been in her human life - still managing to find odd patterns and unique hair styles intriguing no matter how outdated - she did know a thing or two about what look suited an individual.

This sort of information was almost mandatory if one was to be Alice's sister.

**IV - Friends**

Upon confronting the Volturi in a field off a mountain range of Mount Rainier, preparing to defend her family and all that she stood for, Rosalie quite literally had to do a double take as her eyes stonily sped over the Volturi leaders crowded together.

She'd been introduced to them very quickly after her transformation by Carlisle who'd made it a habit of alerting Aro of every new member of his coven.

She didn't know if it was out of their ancient friendship or because Aro had insisted upon it.

But she did remember each of the brothers, paying no sensible mind at the time to who they were and what they symbolized. Those had been the infant years of her immortal life. Lots of anger and hostility had existed inside her.

However, if she truly wanted to, and it wasn't often she did, Rosalie could recall each man's face down to the very dents in their jaws. They were as striking physically as they were powerful.

Standing on the battlefield, observing the three Volturi brothers, Rosalie didn't initially see anything out of the ordinary because she didn't make it a priority to re-familiarize herself with what they looked like.

Right now, she needed to focus on Aro's speech to Edward. She didn't want it to have to come down to a battle, but if it meant defending her way of life and family, she'd do so without a thought.

Aro then mentioned something to Bella and with this, Rosalie's eyes strayed to Aro's right, feeling a sort of neglect from the conversation.

"Holy. Shit."

It was only a whisper, lower than even a mumble, but Emmett directly to her right, immediately inclined his head toward her, caught in between asking what and keeping quiet.

Rosalie, however, couldn't tear her gaze away from the blonde vampire. Caius, if she recalled correctly.

Only...his appearance was vastly different.

Unexpectedly, Rosalie felt a quiver inside her stomach ignite, followed by the shaking of her chest as a laugh threatened to erupt from her.

This time, Emmett couldn't hold back a remark.

"What?" he quickly whispered, hardly moving his lips in the process.

Unable to detach her stare, Rosalie studied the man's hair for another few seconds, helpless to tell Emmett just exactly what sort of mirth she felt. Like a bubble of energy refused to be extinguished within the pit of her stomach, ascending higher and higher.

"The blondie...Caius," Rosalie finally mentioned back, speaking almost entirely from the back of her throat. "He cut his hair. I mean...like hacked it off with a machete."

Emmett had to resist the urge to smile, instead, risking a brave step closer to her so his lips could at least be remotely near her ear.

"I'm confused. Are we not a fan of it? Cause I think it complements his features quite well," Emmett observed, then grinned. "Yeah, definitely reveals the red in his eyes. Kinda sexy."

Forcibly resisting the urge to burst out laughing, Rosalie continued her stare.

"It looks atrocious," she revealed, just a tad bit louder than before, but enough to where no one payed them any attention. "What was that show that you, Esme and Alice were obsessed with watching in the 90's? You even stopped our anniversary momentarily so you could tune into a new episode."

A fond smile crept over Emmett's lips.

"I can't believe you and Jasper never got into _Friends_. Everybody loved it."

"They were all annoying or overly dramatic," Rosalie deflected lightly. "But that one girl...Phoebe. Remember her long blonde hair?"

Emmett lowered his head half a centimeter in response.

"Well," she continued, "that's the hair Caius had last time I saw it. Sad to say he probably put more effort into it than I ever did in mine. But now...the way it's cut...it looks like Rachel's cut. I've got to let this sink in. A member of the Volturi has the same hair cut that made Jeniffer Aniston unbearably famous."

For a moment, neither spoke, noticing Carlisle's approach forward as he worked on defusing the situation.

But now that Emmett was able to picture what exactly made Rosalie so incredibly giddy, he too had a difficult time resisting the urge to laugh.

"Shit, Rose, why'd you have to give me that image?"

Biting at her lip, Rosalie had a brief struggle with her voice before answering back.

"I don't condone human violence, but whoever presented him with that tragedy should have their hands cut off. It's stringy and thin. Like he's balding backwards. And look at how big his eyes look in proportion to the rest of his face, especially with the way the cut angles around his jawline. His eyes look like they're swallowing up the rest of his face. They hold...well, as you so endearingly put - a bugsalie like quality."

Lowering his head, Emmett stared at the snow for a long moment before replying, his teeth nearly tearing open the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing.

"You tell him, Rose," he murmured gleefully.

"If only Alice was here! She'd have a field day. After she absorbed the fact that he might kill us all, of course. I wonder if anyone in the guard is too afraid to tell him that it looks like he's wearing the wig Fabio will shit out of his ass in 50 years."

This time, Emmett's hand shot to hers, grabbing on for fear of laughing and to quiet her down.

Because this last comment was heard by a good portion of the vampires nearest her - including Vladimir and Steffan who snickered darkly without without making a single sound as well as Garrett and Kate.

Garrett's lips threatened to crumble upon the comment, but Kate sent a spark through him, keeping his chuckle from reaching the atmosphere.

Rosalie didn't know why she was so obsessed with finding each imperfection in Caius's terrible cut. Maybe her inner Alice was channeling the real one. Perhaps she really was a girly girl deep down inside.

Whatever the reasoning, she knew without a doubt that even if death would result later in the day, she'd at least die with a great grin on her face, envisioning a broomstick plopping down upon Caius's head and pulling his hair right off.

Unfortunately, this descent into mirth failed to give her any warning when the man she'd been so thoroughly observing, cocked his head to his left and stared right back at her.

"Rose."

Tuning out the voice, Rosalie briefly considered whether this was what Alice had to deal with when she'd gone through her beehive and moss stages.

_Dare I say it? Poor Alice. _This thought forced a smile back on to her lips.

"ROSALIE."

This time, Emmett's grip grated against her index finger's bone.

Blinking back from her daze, Rosalie felt herself dropping back down to reality, eyes becoming unfocused.

And reality suddenly included every single pair of eyes within the vicinity, glued to her.

Not a word was said and if a blush had been possible, Rosalie's face would resemble a cherry.

"Rosalie, is it?"

She didn't even register at first that it was Aro's voice calling out to her. Hell, she didn't even know he knew her name.

"Yes," she automatically answered, feeling Emmett's grip loosen.

But the tension in the air did not die.

And it was there all because she had to comment about blondie's stupid hair cut.

"You have been staring at my brother, Caius, for a frighteningly long period of time. Is there something that entrances you, my dear?"

A smirk lay in his voice at this, Caius's triumphant features further proving how completely un-anonymous she'd been.

Hopefully not in words.

Emmett's possessive reaction to the sudden interest the Volturi had taken in Rosalie, had to be muffled by Jasper who emitted a blast of calmness in his direction.

Rosalie glanced at Carlisle, not for confidence, but more of an affirmation to speak. As she noted before, if death would find her later in the day, at least she'd meet it with a clear conscious.

Uncertainty rested in her father's features, obviously nervous about what her words could possibly be.

However, he inclined his head, knowing Aro needed an answer.

"I was merely noticing that Caius has gotten a hair cut since the last time I've seen him," Rosalie lightly mentioned, actually taking an unnecessary breath so she didn't come off sounding deranged from the bubble of laughter still building inside her.

It felt strange to speak to these men. Being reborn with no unique abilities often allowed her to stay out of their attentions as well as their radar. And it got to the point where she truly sympathized for Alice and Edward whose talents Aro valued very highly, thus the reason he commonly asked of them.

But now the tables were turned, herself being the object of such scrutinous study.

And Rosalie did not like it one bit. Especially the growing smirk Caius sprouted, showing her a proudness she found oddly familiar from her own features.

While still a mortal.

How ironic was it? A battle of pride vs. pride.

"What do you think of it?" Aro asked, grinning as he glanced at his brother. "Is it not suitable for such royalty?"

The ability to hold back her reactions was becoming incredibly difficult and as Rosalie answered, she felt her jaw quiver with each word.

"Have you ever seen the television show _Friends_?"

Almost unanimously, Emmett and Esme dropped their gazes down, and while Esme could gain control of her grin, Emmett needed a few forceful breaths in order to do so.

"We are not much of...what is it you Americans call it..."couch potatoes"," Aro admitted with a mock sigh.

"Lazy swines are more like it," Caius muttered dismissively.

"It doesn't matter if you have," Rosalie continued, knowing she had to speak now or else she'd lose the courage. "But to answer your original question. It's...nice. And most...definitely memorable. Jennifer Aniston would be jealous."

This time, a visible movement stirred through their group, beginning with Carlisle who made a strained noise he disguised for a cough at the back of his throat, most likely recalling his own words he'd said to her upon seeing her bob cut.

Some of the nomads briefly lifted the corner of their lips, understanding any more emotion might lead to a brawl.

Garrett nearly lost it altogether, having to bury his face in Kate's hair for fear of howling out loud. Kate, meanwhile, met Tanya's eyes, a silent conversation passing through that alerted Rosalie they too probably had been eager fans of the show.

"You speak in riddles and are obviously lacking a sense in fine culture," Caius spoke arrogantly and shamelessly, eyes falling down the length of her body. "Which is a pity considering your body would serve quite nicely to warm my bed each night."

The growl ripping through Emmett's throat could not be contained swiftly enough by Jasper.

To everybody's surprise, however, Rosalie actually chortled, only a fraction of the actual humor still resting in her chest, meeting the chill air.

"I'm not into girls," she boldly stated, squeezing Emmett's hand in comfort. "But thanks for the offer, Rachel."

Realization struck Caius almost immediately that she'd been mocking him all along and with a sudden shift forward, he readied himself to sprint at her, lips set in a dark scowl as his eyes pulsed with hot anger.

Of course Aro simply stuck out a hand, keeping the blonde at bay.

"Now, now," Aro tsked, reprimanding the blonde, "dear Rosalie may have her opinion. We are, if anything, creatures of great thought. But if I may say so as well, my brother...I personally preferred your hair at its longer length."

Outrage sped over Caius's features, but Aro waved away his next response.

"However, we are not here to discuss our fashions, no matter how...unbecoming they may be. Edward, I do believe you were rather intent on showing me your daughter only moments ago."

With great difficulty, Caius stepped back, and as Emmett left her side reluctantly, walking after the wolf, Bella and Renesmee, Rosalie was able to detect without barrier, Caius's red stare directed at her.

The gesture should have spooked her. Or caused unease, especially since not even Alice and Jasper's sudden arrival minutes later, managed to garner his attentions.

But really, all she felt was an odd slice of tranquility so often missing from her life. As if she'd uncovered a part of herself that didn't make accepting who she was more difficult. A stepping stone, if you will, into a future. A future where maybe she knew just a little bit more about fashion than Alice, and felt just a little bit more comfortable in her own skin.

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**Rosalie's thoughts regarding Ciaus's hair are my own directly. I'm just mean because I used a character to channel them. However, Rosalie is a fashionsta in progress. I'd like to think she'd notice this strange cut Ciaus has sprouted since she's strangely observant of strange things as well as her own feelings, that by the end of this story, should help her a little bit in knowing what she wants to do with her life and knowing that the past needs to remain that way. I am sorry if you personally liked Ciaus's hair, though. I imagine you read this with a stoic expression. Let me know your thoughts in a review.**


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